The Sunday before Lilly went to heaven, we were surprised by a visit from our local chicken farmer. His wife was with him and she had made Lilly an adorable fleece blanket. We were so touched by her kindness! Sadly I never got a picture of Lilly wrapped in the blanket, but I took a picture of T. and H. wrapped together in it in front of Lilly's memorial tree. There is something irresistible about the softness of this blanket and we all enjoy using it, thinking of Lilly when we wrap up. By the way, if you live in our area and want some delicious organic chicken eggs and/or organic chicken, contact the Triple T Ranch and tell them Lilly's mama referred you! We easily eat 4 or 5 dozen eggs a month and we buy one whole chicken a month. I really enjoy using the bones to make chicken broth. (I gave the broth to Lilly a lot, both plain and mixed in with her purees.) I even learned to use chicken feet to make the broth more nutritious.
Today I finally made myself pack away most of Lilly's clothes. Most of her regular clothes were in a changing table that was in our office/schoolroom. We decided to put the table in the attic. So that meant the clothing needed to come out. I packed all those wonderful little outfits Lilly wore into a big tote bin with a lid. She also had some clothes in the dresser she shared with my son so I packed up those too. However I left all the beautiful dresses she wore on Sundays in the closet. All of them - from preemie size up to 9 months are going to stay sweetly hanging there until I get a nice rack to hang them up on my wall on.
It was so sweet holding and folding Lilly's clothes. So many good memories with most of the outfits. It made me long for another little girl so I could dress her in Lilly's clothes. Amazingly I only cried once and by the end I was even smiling. However at dinner tonight, we had on a CD that we got from Faith's family (another homeschooling Christian family with a daughter with Trisomy 18) and Bart Millard's rendition of "My Jesus I Love Thee" came on and before I knew it I was crying. (It was one of the songs we sung at Lilly's funeral.)
From what I hear though, people that mourn will just start crying at unexpected times. Hmmm. I'm not sure what to think of that.
Thank you to everyone that has been praying for my friend K.M. The Lord has been listening! Her heart function is amazingly almost back to normal! All on it's own! She is still in the hospital and it seems much of the trouble she is having now is from medications. The doctors still don't know what caused her terrible heart problem but I don't think they're talking about a transplant anymore. Please pray they figure it out. And for encouragement for K. and her family. Especially in the wee hours of the night. K. is struggling then. I remember nights were often so hard for Lilly in the hospital too.
Matthew Henry, a theologian living in the later 1600s and early 1700s, wrote, "God has a bottle and a book for his people's tears, both those for their sins and those for their afflictions. He observes them with compassion and tender concern; he is afflicted in their afflictions, and knows their souls in adversity. Paul was mindful of Timothy's tears (2 Timothy 1:4), and God will not forget the sorrows of his people. God will comfort his people according to the time wherein he has afflicted them, and give to those to reap in joy who sowed in tears. What was sown a tear will come up a pearl."
It's true about grief-it can hit you at the weirdest times. My dad died 3 years ago, and about 2 months ago I was at a Veteran's Day luncheon listening to the girls sing. I was just fine until the band started the Air Force song. Dad was in the Air Force (before I was born) and the song had me bawling. It was so strange. Tears are good though; they help us heal. Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI want you to know that I am still reading and keeping up. Sometimes I just can't comment. xxoo
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that the cds are helping and I am still praying for you.
ReplyDeleteGrace Smith
yes, grief can hit us at the most unexpected moments. today at our book discussion on "Shattered Dreams" (what a selection for "such a time as this")several asked how you were doing and the tears spilled over. but mercifully, God knows we cannot handle our grief all at once. so throughout the busyness of daily demands, He allows us to deal with smaller confrontations of our grief at those unexpected moments.
ReplyDeleteone thing to remember about grief if we are to deal with it in a healthy way: we can't go over it, we can't go around it, and we can't go under it. we must go through it.
tears help cleanse the heart. we should never be ashamed to let others, including our children, see our tears of sorrow. for they acknowledge our "realness"
I'm so glad I have the box of all the many dresses that I got her! :)
ReplyDelete