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The story of our precious little girl's 17 months of life with Trisomy 18 (July 4, 2010 - December 15, 2011) and of us, re-learning to live "after Lilly."
"I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made ...." Psalm 139:14

Friday, May 27, 2016

How to express your condolences

Earlier this week, I was contacted by someone from  She shared with me her new advice page on how to write a message of condolence to someone that had lost a loved one.  I looked at her page, and it is really, really good!

When someone dies, people can feel awkward and not really know what to say, or they may not say anything for fear of saying the wrong thing.  I know - I've felt that way myself.  But after experiencing the loss of Lilly, I know that it hurts the most when people don't say anything.

So for some very helpful ideas, go to

Condolence Definition

noun: con·do·lence pronounced [kənˆdou ləns]
plural: con·do·lences pronounced [kənˆdou ləns iz]
- See more at:
The webpage has ideas on how to begin your card/letter, what to put in the body of the card/letter, and quotes and Bible verses to use.  It also discusses using social media to express sympathy.  I printed the page out and am going to keep it in my box of sympathy cards.

I know social media is the norm for what seems like everything now, but I personally feel that sending a card in the mail (or delivering it personally) means the very most.  Simply because a person has to put more effort into it so it means more.  To me anyway.  I know we're all different.  I have two HUGE boxes of sympathy cards in the attic from when Lilly died.  I don't know if I'll ever be able to read through them all again, but it gives me comfort in just having them.

Our kitchen table covered with flowers sent right after Lilly's death

Lillies in memory of Lilly

A dear friend drew this Lilly and wrote out Matthew 6:25-28 (verses mentioning lilies) - such a meaningful gift!

Never forget - EVERY life is valuable:

photo credit: Steve Rubin Photography

Choosing the Perfect Words of Condolences
Choosing the Perfect Words of Condolences
Choosing the Perfect Words of Condolences


  1. Oh the awkwardness. I am so guilty. I have at least, finally, told myself that its ok to just be there. To hug. And to cry.

    My goodness how time flies. I don't remember that picture of your kids, but its one of the most adorable ones I've seen! And look at Tabby and Hunter now!! wow.

    1. Yes it can be so awkward - I think because we're so afraid of saying something wrong and making it worse. I am guilty too.
      We had the photography that had taken the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep photos of Lilly come back for her b'day to take more of her on her milestone. It was a sweet time.

  2. This is a great idea. No one ever knows what to say to the bereaved. I can't believe how young Tabby was in that picture...

    1. I know! I can't believe it's been almost 5 years.