Dear Lilly ... Happy Belated Birthday

Lilly's Memorial Garden this month

Dearest Lilly,

Happy belated 8th birthday, my sweet girl!  Wow EIGHT!!!  I am so curious about you.  What are you like in heaven?  I can't wait to see you again one day.  I hope you will run to me and give me, what Solomon likes to call, "the biggest lion hug ever!"

By the way, your little brother is so looking forward to meeting you one day.  He loves looking at pictures of you and sometimes wishes he could be in some of them.

Let's see, this is your first birthday in 6 years that we did not have our traditional Lilly's Birthday aka July 4th Celebration.  But have no doubt, we all remembered you on your day.  Just as we do every day.

During your birthday week, Tabby and I were at a church camp in Virginia.  It was the first camp that either of us have ever been too.  Though I missed getting to come to your grave, I did share your picture with several people at camp and told them about your birthday.  They were very kind.  Tabby told some of the campers about you too.

The boys and your Dad were planning to carry on your celebration by attending the parade and fireworks however something else happened.  Hunter came down with the chicken pox!  He had a fever and was all spotty and itchy.  There was no way he felt like going out anywhere.  But the boys and Dad did set off some fireworks at home.  Did you see them?

About two weeks later Hunter was all better but then ... Solomon came down with the chicken pox!  So we put off going to the store to buy balloons for you once again.  However, Solomon did argue that even boys with chicken pox were still able to eat birthday cake!  So your siblings all voted on cupcakes for this year.  We imagined red-white-blue ones.  But when I went to the store, I realized oops!  With July 4th passed, there were no longer "Lilly colored" desserts out.  I know I could have made something at home, but there was too much going on.  So I bought these cupcakes and they were very yummy!

For your birthday present this year, I bought you a set of red/white/blue bottle brush trees.  I have a bit of an obsession with them.

bottle brush trees made by @oldvintagebits (Instagram)

I never did share a picture of your last year's Christmas present on your blog, so I will do that now.  I just love the work of Polish artist Amelia.  (Etsy shop: inameliart )  I have bought several prints from her over the past year.  Last year she had 2 that made me think of you!  One is a little girl that wears red-white-blue!  Amelia told me her husband said that she had painted an "American girl."  (They live in Poland.)  She sure did!  She painted my Lilly girl.  I told Amelia about you and your story touched her deeply.  She is such a sweet and talented artist.  The other print I bought is an angel girl holding a bunny.  So I feel I have my 4th of July Lilly girl and my angel Lilly girl.  They are so special to me!  

Last week we bought your birthday balloons at the dollar store.  But every time we thought about sending them up to you, someone wasn't feeling good, or it was raining, or something was wrong with the timing.  But finally!  This morning, in between rain showers, we hurried outside to let your balloons go.  This is the first time we did this at home, instead of at your grave.  But that's OK.  You know we love you anywhere we are.  At first we were going to release them by Solomon's big pumpkin patch.  But it got windy all the sudden.  So we went out by the road and let the balloons go over the cow pasture across the street.  They all went up up up!  No tangling in trees.  

I watched them until they disappeared.  I thought about you and how much your short life of 17 months blessed me and stretched me beyond what I thought I was capable of.  What a gift from God you were and I thanked Him all over again for you.

Lilly's 1st birthday

We all love you, Lilly-girl, forever and ever!!

XOXOXOXO 😘💗
Mama

Happy heavenly 7th birthday Lilly!

"Mama - just what is this crazy outfit you have on me?!"
photo credit: Steve Rubin Photography

Dearest Lilly,

Letters usually start with a "how are you?"  But wouldn't that be rather silly for me to start your birthday letter that way?  After all - I know that you are perfect, whole, and full of joy!  You have everything that those of us still on earth long for!  And that makes me SO happy for you.


So instead I will get to the point: HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILLY!!!!!  Yes today is birthday number 7 for you.  Amazing!  I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a 7 year old little girl running around the house.  But I know that wasn't God's plan for you.  You packed a whole lot of living into 17 months.  You definitely lived up to your nickname of "Little Firecracker!"

Your little brother Solomon loves to hear stories about you and ask questions about you.  He is super into all things holiday.  Lilly's birthday/Independence Day is no exception.  He delights in the Lilly-colored decorations all over the house and in the stores.  He made special star shaped chocolate lollipops for Tabby and her friends to eat, in memory of your birthday.

Big brother Hunter seems to remain just as interested in hearing stories about your medical equipment as he does you.  You know that's just how his brain works!  Yep - engineer boy.  Do you remember how he was only 2 years old and helping me operate your milk pump, oxygen, and pulse ox?  And nebulizer ... etc.  

And Tabby.  She remains as fiercely proud of you as ever.  And still hurts having lost her special little sister.

Speaking of stores, your siblings and I were at Walmart a few days ago.  Tabby and I stopped in front of the red/white/blue clothing for little girls.  Tabby pointed out an outfit that she would have loved to get for you.  I pointed out the ones that I thought you'd look adorable in.  There were several "awwwww" moments before we could move on.

And that got me to remembering how when you turned 1 year old, I had a collection of red/white/blue clothing for you to wear.  You had many days of celebrating in your colors!

Shall I remind you of some?

I guess you should have had a special red/white/blue outfit to wear home from the hospital on the day you were born.  Only I had no idea you were going to be born on the 4th of July!  You were due on June 17th.  Oh well!  

Well my Lilly girl, I've got go now.  We've got some celebrating to do.  We'll be sending your birthday balloons up to you later!

Love forever,
Mama

How we celebrated Lilly's July 4th birthday

I can't believe 2 weeks has already passed since Lilly's 6th birthday.  But if you've read my last few posts, you see we've been a bit occupied!  I do want to go back and do a "photo diary" of our day July 4th though, for our own memories.

We first went to Belhaven for the annual 4th of July parade.  While waiting, we walked down to the Pungo River:

Yes, Hunter brought a shaded pole motor along

 Solomon and Frank got to go inside this boat:

I took this picture on the bridge:

Tabby taking photos at an interesting angle:

Then we went into my sister-in-law's place, Gingerbread Bakery & O'Neal's Snackbar (website here and Facebook page here), and had some tasty treats and something to drink.  (FYI - this is THE BEST place to eat in that area!)

The parade starts with LOUD firetrucks.  I liked this old one:

Solomon and I liked the gorilla:

And Hunter liked this crazy solar powered mower thing:

After the parade, we drove down the road to the Pantego Academy Historical Museum (website here and Facebook page here) for a free hot dog lunch.  It is such a beautiful old school building with a wonderful museum inside.

 After eating, we explored the museum.  Solomon's favorite part was playing school and then getting "water" from the dipper:

Hunter spent a long time studying the old stove:

 Solomon posed with my mother-in-law.  I appreciated she was in costume while working at the museum:

Then the boys did some gardening work before we left (these are possible publicity photos for the museum):

That evening, we gathered with family for supper and cake for Lilly.  Solomon was super excited about Lilly's cake (when I bought it he kept shouting it was "beautiful!") and he got the honor of blowing out her 6 candles:

Next we headed to Washington, to the cemetery Lilly is buried at.  We had 6 birthday balloons for her and her Lilly-colored owl which I put at her grave for her birthday.  I tied one of her balloons to it then we let the other 5 sail up into the air and watched them float away.

Finally, we watched the town's fireworks, while sitting on a floating dock on the Pamilico River:

I love all the busyness of Lilly's birthday celebration.  It keeps me distracted.  It is SO MUCH easier of a day than her angelversary in December.  I treasure remembering the absolute triumph of leaving the hospital with her, on July 4, 2010, and against all odds, she was ALIVE. 

Happy 6th birthday, my Lilly girl!

Dear Lilly,

I can't believe you would be celebrating your 6th birthday with us if you were still on earth.  Wow!  Six years old!  I wonder a lot what you would be like. There's not one day that goes by that I do not think about you.  Your brothers wonder if you would like playing with them.  Your sister wishes she could still fix your hair and hold you.  Your daddy misses his girl very much.  No matter how long you are gone, there's still a big hole in our family where you belong.

We will be celebrating your birthday today in what has become our tradition.  Parade, cake, balloons, fireworks.  There is much comfort in traditions we have learned.  Solomon is old enough to remember a little of it from last year and he is very very excited about celebrating this year.  We picked out your cake at the store and he kept shouting how "beautiful" it was!  And he's already claimed blowing out your candles.  He helped me pick out 6 birthday balloons for you.  (Hunter was disappointed there were no balloons that said "Feliz Cumpleanos" on them like we ended up with last year.) 

All the celebrating our country does today - all the red, white, and blue - all the reminders of our freedom and independence.  And all the many many reminders of you.  I'm so glad that God had you be born on the 4th of July!  You were two and a half weeks late but it turned out to be just perfect.  God never makes mistakes and He made you just perfect the way you were.

I love you forever and ever my sweet girl and will see you again one day!

Love always,
Mama

The day Lilly was born, July 4, 2010, followed by lots of Lilly-colored outfits in her 1st birthday month, July 2011:

July 4, 2010