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The story of our precious little girl's 17 months of life with Trisomy 18 (July 4, 2010 - December 15, 2011) and of us, re-learning to live "after Lilly."
"I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made ...." Psalm 139:14

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

All that Red White & Blue

Photo: This patriotic rabbit is one of my favorite decorations at my in-laws river house.  Our son calls it a "Lilly colored bunny."

My family has enjoyed all the extra red-white-and- blue everywhere this weekend, in honor of Memorial Day.  Of course we know it is to honor veterans and we are very grateful for them.  But it sure honored our Little Firecracker in our minds too.

Just a note here about colors.  Obviously we associate red,white, and blue with our Lilly because she was born on Independence Day.  Another Trisomy angel mom recently shared with me that she loved the color green and often bought things she needed/wanted in green if they were available.  Green is the color for the month which her angel baby was born.  And so, it has become a color that just makes her feel closer to her daughter.  (You can see birthstone colors by month here.)  It's sort of funny how simple things like this can help in healing.

We were able to make a brief stop at Lilly's grave yesterday.  Much to my huge disappointment, I realized a few moments ago that I managed to delete the photos I took without loading them!  :(  But the cemetery looked nice. All along the edges it was lined in little American flags.  Lilly's had her angel wings for 5.5 months now yet as we left I still found myself shaking my head and thinking "I can't believe I've buried a child."

In honor of all the red-white-and-blue ("Lilly colors") below are a couple more pictures from the last week or so.

I've been wanting to buy or make a tree skirt for Lilly's memory tree but couldn't decide on just what or how.  Then I found this star table runner and I decided it would be perfect.  For now anyway.  It has four cloth stars and they button together.  I unbuttoned them and just laid each around the base of her tree.  It looks quite nice.

I found these pretty red, white, and blue bottles and thought they would be just right under Lilly's framed collage which hangs over our kitchen table.  I want to try and keep flowers in them year round. Thankfully our butterfly garden is bursting with flowers right now. 

T. painted this flower pot:

I bought this outfit for our rainbow baby.  T. talked me into it.  It is the first thing I've bought for him.  I felt completely numb about it.  But after a few days I started thinking it might be fun to bring him home after his birth dressed in it.  Also, I am happy to share that I have finally started to bond some to this baby.  What changed?  Well I think confessing my lack of bonding out loud to my midwife and then sharing on this blog and getting some helpful feedback, then going through with buying the below outfit, and then going to our state's homeschool conference last Friday and seeing lots of babies strapped on their mamas in baby carriers, have all helped.  And maybe people have been praying for me too?  But I do know my feelings have begun changing and that is a relief.

H. is wearing his "Lilly colored outfit."  He always likes wearing it because he says it "makes him think of Lilly."  He seems to be worrying lately about forgetting her.  H. is happily standing before a display of old cars, including a toy milk truck. (He has a thing for old milk trucks and even bought one off Ebay with his own money.)  This picture was taken at the Pantego Academy, located in Pantego, North Carolina.  (If you're ever in the eastern part of the state - or not! - you should really visit here.  It is such a fascinating museum!  My mother-in-law helps with it so we got a special tour yesterday after helping her carry in some things she was bringing for displays.

I am so thankful for the array of colors God has created, and for memories.

"At all times and for everything giving thanks in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God the Father." - Ephesians 5:20

1 comment:

  1. I am so glad you have these colors/things as reminders of your sweet girl! I can imagine the boning thing would be hard I am really glad it is getting better. Thank you for sharing your beautiful transparent heart!