How we spent Lilly's birthday

First, here are a few pictures from Lilly's 1st birthday, July 4, 2011.  I'm not sure what she looked like in heaven this past July 4, but I'm sure she was even more beautiful!

We were blessed to spend this past Monday through yesterday afternoon at my mother-in-law's home.  She lives less than 30 minutes from where Lilly is buried.  (We live over 2 hours away.)  We stayed very busy - and hot! (it's something being pregnant in temperatures in the upper 90s and low 100s!) - helping her do things.  It worked well - we were able to help her out and it helped us to stay busy and distracted.

On Wednesday morning, we went to the 4th of July parade in Belhaven, North Carolina.  T. and H. had never been to a parade before and were very excited.  We were blessed to have access to my sister-in-law's bakery, so we could stay cool until it started.  If you're ever in Belhaven, it is THE BEST place to eat.  It's called Gingerbread Bakery and is on Main Street:

Here is my husband and H. enjoying a drink and snack before the parade:

T. in her favorite place - by the cookies, cakes, and donuts:

The best float in the parade was the one my mother-in-law rode on, in her colonial dress.  The float was for the Pantego Academy Historical Museum. 

After the parade, I made our angel girl Lilly and angel food cake with chocolate buttercream frosting.  And of course she got two candles:

After supper that evening, we went to Lilly's grave.  We took her some new flowers.  They were to share with my husband's father and sister, who are buried where Lilly is.  The flowers looked beautiful.  (They were done by the same woman, at Flowers on Broad Street, that did the spray for Lilly's casket and flowers for her grave after.)  LillyBear and crazy sock monkey (who was celebrating his 1st birthday) came with us:

We brought Lilly three pinwheels, in red, white, and blue:

We had a balloon release for Lilly.  T. and H. both had a birthday balloon and a "Lilly colored" balloon.  H. loved the idea of sending balloons "up to heaven."  But after awhile he wanted them back to play with.

We spent some time praying and thanking God for giving us Lilly.

Soon it was time to leave.

We then stayed in town (Washington) and watched the fireworks.  Seems like the whole country was celebrating Lilly's birthday!

Happy heavenly birthday, Little Firecracker Lilly!

(I don't have access to my pictures at the moment, so this will be a brief and "pictureless" (gasp!) post.)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILLY!  (Oh ... and happy birthday America too!)

I am in the middle of making an angel food cake, but just wanted to wish my sweet little girl a very happy birthday today.  If she were still on earth, we would be celebrating her 2nd birthday.  But she's in a better place, and is celebrating with Jesus.

Is the grief of losing a loved one worth it? 

YES.

"Grief and pain are the price we humans have to pay for the love and total commitment we have for another person.  The more we love, the more we are hurt when we lose the object of our love.  But if we are honest with ourselves, would we have it any other way?" - C. S. Lewis

"There is a sacredness in tears.  They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.  They speak more eloquently than 10,000 tongues.  They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love." - Washington Irving

To read about and see pictures from the wonderful, amazing day 2 years ago when Lilly was born click here. 

To see my posts about Lilly's first birthday click here .  See the post about her parties here.  And another birthday post here.

To see who is holding Lilly for us right now click here.

Thank you to all of you who have sent gifts, cards, and have e-mailed - it means so much.

Decorating for the 4th of July

It's July 1st.  Time to get out all that red, white, and blue decor for Independence Day AND Lilly's birthday!  She may be celebrating this year's birthday in heaven, but of course we'll be celebrating her memory here on July 4.

I started last week by making star shaped chocolate lollipops.  (Or as T., the expert candy maker in the house, dubbed them "Chollipops.")  I made a lot for our fellowship meal after church today and enough to share with family too.  I'd love to mail some to our out of state relatives, but with temperatures at and over 100 degrees lately, I know they'd just be a huge melted mess when they arrived.  (So how about a raincheck for Christmas?)

 Making chollipops is pretty easy, it just takes time. 

Most of this year, we have been decorating Lilly's memorial tree on the 4th of each month.  But this month, we went ahead and decorated the tree today.  We had lots of patriotic ornaments to put on it, courtesty of my aunt who gave me a big box of them last year.  The tree looks really good.  But, I do need to make some birthday themed decorations for it.

Today I made the tree topper:

I love the angel ornaments:

Here is what the whole tree looks like:

We also decorated the house today.  Every year I love how the bunting looks on our porch:

This year I had this special bunting down "In Memory of Lilly":

Finally, the kids were delighted with our new tablecloth:



I know the 4th won't be easy, but I am trying to stay focused on how thankful I am that we had Lilly a whole 17 months.  I've read about quite a few babies (with Trisomy 18) who passed away last week, while still in the womb, and it made me all the more thankful for the time we had with Lilly.

"I will give thanks to the Lord because of his righteousness; I will sing the praises of the name of the Lord Most High." -Psalm 7:17

Alpha and Omega ... and my new maternity skirt

On the day Lilly was born, the hospital gave us the bear on the left.  A family that had lost twins donated the bears to the hospital as gifts for other families who had babies that died or were not expected to live.  I honestly struggled with all the sad thoughts wrapped up in that bear, and so I just put him on a shelf and ignored him. 

When Lilly died, the little white casket we buried her in came with a bear.  (This is the bear on the right in the picture.)  The bear's shirt says "loved and cherished."  This bear is precious to me - as it is from inside Lilly's last resting place on earth.

When I set up my dresser top with some of Lilly's things, I sat the bear on the right up there too.  Then not to long ago I thought about the first bear, and suddenly it became precious to me to.  We got it on the day Lilly was born!  I put it up on the dresser too, and put the hat Lilly wore home from the hospital on it's head.  I took another hat that my friend K. made for Lilly and put that on the other bear.  The bears are now complete ... together.  A bear from the beginning of Lilly's life (outside the womb) and a bear from the very end of her life (on earth).

I've dubbed the bears "Alpha" and "Omega."  Those are the first and last letters of the Greek alphabet.  But I also think of what Jesus says in Revelation:

"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End." - Revelation 22:13

In this last picture, I wanted to share my new maternity skirt.  When I'm not pregnant, and have lost my pregnancy weight!, I'm actually a skinny enough person.  But when I'm pregnant, and especially in the last few months, my body just seems to keep gaining weight in spite of my faithful exercising and good eating.  So, as I'm now in my last trimester, I am feeling and looking huge!  Recently I knew I would soon need to go up a size in some maternity clothes.  And as I thought about this, I started thinking I needed a "Lilly colored" outfit, like everyone else in our family has.

I have several maternity skirts that I love from The Modest Mom.  So I got the idea to contact the owner, C., and see if she would make me a maternity skirt if I supplied the fabric.  I shared a bit of Lilly's story and why I would like it.  C. replied she couldn't refuse my request.  :)  So I sent her the red fabric with white stars and she promptly sewed the skirt for me.  (She added a nice white stretchy panel at the top.  You can see it peeking out because my shirt is getting too short!)  Not only can you buy maternity skirts from The Modest Mom's website, but there are also women's skirts, tops, and nursing covers.  Everything I have bought is good quality.  And I am so grateful to C. for my special skirt!

And speaking of the reason I need this maternity skirt - "Rainbow Baby" seems to be doing very well.  I had an appointment with my midwife today.  He's in a good position (no longer breech - yay!) and his heartbeat is good.  We are really looking forward to meeting the little guy in September.  :)

Tied up with a bow

Did Lilly have kissable checks or what??!!  Our sweet girl was 10 months old in this picture.  I saw this picture today pop up on my screensaver and I just marveled at it: "awwwww ... she was just soooo cute!"  God really did make her special, in so many ways.  Mommy loves you and misses you Lilly!

"Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew you.  Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you." - Jeremiah 1:5

Kit's Muse and some more R-W-&-B

 

Recently while I was online, I came across this picture of little white crocheted dresses that someone had posted.   I learned that the woman that makes them, donates them as a part of care packages for angel parents.  Lately I have been making pages of lists and notes of ideas of things to do in memory of Lilly, so when I saw the dresses I was quite intrigued.  Reaching out to other angel parents is at the top of my list.

So I contacted the amazing dress maker and learned about how she got involved in this.  (J. is the mama of a preemie that, praise God, is alive and doing well.  J. wanted to give back to the NICU and other's in need, through care packages.)  She has a website called "Kit's Muse" and is on Facebook.  Kit's Muse, her project's name, is a division of a non-profit group called Project Sweetpeas.
   

I learned a lot of helpful information from J. and added it to my ideas files. I look forward to soon sharing with my readers these ideas, of what I am going to be doing to reach out, in Lilly's memory, to others.  Today I talked to L.W., my contact at the hospital that Lilly was born at and had a lot of doctor's appointments at.  I was thrilled that L. was enthusiastic about my ideas.  I told her that I am the type that "just has to do SOMETHING."  I have already been doing little things for the families of other Trisomy 18 angels and children, but need to do more.  It is amazing, how in doing for others, we feel so much better ourselves.

Once again that makes me think of this scripture, of the apostle Paul quoting Jesus:  ". . . ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ” - Acts 20:35

A note regarding the second dress picture posted, J. made the little heart with the same material as the burial dress, and is a keepsake for the family.  I think that is a very special and sweet idea.

If anyone reading this is interested, Kit's Muse is putting together a very special Christmas tree at a mall in Missouri this year.  It will be filled with ornaments with the names of angel babies, preemies, special needs children - well actually I think ANY child can be represented.  You can send them an ornament representing your child, or buy one of their's and have it personalized.  You can read about how to participate here.  Lilly will have a personalized ornament on that tree.  Scroll down through the ornament pictures here and you'll come to an angel with a silver cross.  That is the ornament I choose for Lilly.  I will get to see a picture of the ornament on the tree, and then the ornament will be sent to me after being taken down.  I always buy each of my children an ornament each Christmas and I will use the angel for Lilly's ornament for the year and put it on her memory tree in January, which is angel theme. 

T. has been anxious for me to share a few more red-white-and-blue things with you all.  First is her betta fish, named "Firecracker", which she just bought with some birthday money:

T. also bought our dog Lucia a red-white-and-blue collar and leash.  (Lucia is a Labrador/terrier mix.):

T. and my husband seem to often be collecting things from the side of the road.  Recently there was a broken spring horse tossed in a pile on our street.  The horse was faded and worn out.  But T. thought they might could do something with it so they brought it home.  They painted it in "Lilly colors" and named it "Lily Spangle."  A fresh coat of paint can do wonders!

H. thought it was great fun to pull Lily Spangle around, like they were in a parade:

                                

LillyBear's Adventures in Chincoteague

Have you ever read Marguerite Henry's book Misty of Chincoteague?  Or heard about the annual round up, swim, and auction of the wild horses of Assateague (the island across from Chincoteague island? Would you like to find out more about Chincoteague, Virginia?  Then read on!

About a month or so after Lilly passed away, my step-mom offered to let us stay at the cottage she owns and rents out by the week on Chincoteague.  I accepted thinking it would be a good thing for our family.  We were blessed to go and stay for a week, from June 9-June 16.

We decided to take LillyBear with us.  Little did I know at that moment just how fun, and comforting, that would turn out to be.  Here's LillyBear strapped in and ready for the trip!

After about a 5.5 hour drive, LillyBear was excited when we finally pulled up in front of the little cottage, known as the Sea 'Scape.  (You can read website info. on the Sea 'Scape here or watch a short video.  If you make a reservation and go I promise you won't be disappointed!)  The cottage was built about 1950 and is full of personality:

LillyBear loved the view from the front porch. That is Assateague island, right across the Assateague Channel:

After unloading and making and eating dinner (on the porch!), we needed some exercise.  So we headed down the road to Memorial Park.  LillyBear loved the wooden play ship:

Then we walked over to the docks and area along the Assateague Channel.  The view was beautiful:

H. talked to LillyBear about how he could not wait to visit the Assateague lighthouse, which they could see across the channel:

On Sunday we visited the Union Baptist Church.  (LillyBear did not actually go inside):

The day was very hot and humid, so an afternoon at the ocean was wonderfully refreshing.  (Ocean access is on Assateague - it's less than a 10 minute drive from the cottage. There is a charge for going onto the island - we bought a one week pass.)  LillyBear was up for boogie boarding and then a sun bath.  (We teased her about sunbathing since we are too busy playing and swimming to do that):

It was raining Tuesday morning so we headed to the Herbert H. Bateman Education Center on Assateague.  It was full of interesting exhibits and short movies. (We watched one about the ponies of Assateague).  LillyBear showed us she loves to learn:

When we left the education center, we found that the rain had stopped.  So we decided to go see the lighthouse.  However the rainy weather meant the mosquitoes were out in insane numbers!  I don't recall EVER having seen such swarms of mosquitoes!  They were like clouds around us, in spite of all the bug spray we had on.  LillyBear was the only one of us not to get bites.  We started off on the path to the lighthouse at a fast walk but soon were RUNNING to get there.

We blasted into the entrance to the lighthouse thankful to be free of the mosquitoes and their awful buzzing noises.  After paying admission we began the climb up 175 steps to the top of the lighthouse.

T. was snapping pictures and H. was so excited he climbed the whole way himself. (He's 3 years old.) I was wondering if I would make it because when I'm pregnant stairs just leave me incredibly winded. But I climbed these just fine. They were, of course, circular and there were several landings to take a break on.  Finally we made it to the top!  A volunteer handed T. and H. both a sticker to show their accomplishment.  He wouldn't give LillyBear one until I explained that she represented our real Lilly, who was living in heaven.  He quickly gave us a sticker for her then!  She proudly wore it as I took her picture by the door which led to the outside balcony of the lighthouse.

The view out that door was beautiful!  And it was so windy I found myself not wanting to get too close to the rail.

That afternoon, we went to the Tom's Cove visitor center.  (On Assateague.)  This was a very fun hands on little center.  LillyBear watched as the kids and my husband picked up hermit crabs and horseshoe crabs from a large tank.  T. and H. even got to feed the horseshoe crabs which was quite interesting. 

There was also an area where you could pick up things and identify them:

Outside the visitor's center is a lovely boardwalk down to the sandy parking lot by the beach.  We saw a lot of red winged blackbirds, and a rabbit along the way.

On Wednesday we went to the Chincoteague Pony Centre and Gift Shoppe.  The ponies were descendants of the real Misty!

The Centre offers pony rides and has a nighttime horseshoe.  (We didn't do either of those activities.)  The Gift Shoppe was very large and had a lot of really nice, quality things.  We enjoyed browsing.  LillyBear and I liked this doll best so I took her picture to remember her:

Next we headed to Main Street and saw the statute of Misty.  Misty was surrounded by sticker bushes, much to LillyBear's disappointment.  She had wanted to sit on Misty's back:

Across the road is an old movie theatre, and when the Misty of Chincoteague movie was shown, the real Misty left her hoofprints in the cement:

Next we drove by the Beebee ranch, where Misty had lived part of her life. It is no longer open to the public. 

On the way back to the cottage for lunch, we stopped at the Chamber of Commerce.  We picked up some good information and got free stickers.  During the afternoon, we went to the beach.  It was quite windy though, so LillyBear elected to stay back at the cottage and relax.  (I so wish I had room for a church pew in our home!  Maybe in our next home.  M-J please save one for me!)

On Thursday we visited the Museum of Chincoteague Island.  We all really enjoyed the exhibits.  T. took part in a scavenger hunt which made it more interesting.  H. liked the lighthouse related things best.  (They have a Fresnel lens among the lighthouse goodies.)  T. liked seeing the real stuffed Misty and her foal Stormy.  (Misty is the lighter colored horse.)  LillyBear was excited for a chance to pose with them:

During the afternoon, we took a one hour narrated trolley ride around Chincoteague.  The island is not big (I think it is @ 7 miles long) but there was a lot of interesting things to hear about.  LillyBear is like the rest of us, and loves history:

Next was the Captain Timothy Hill house, the oldest house on Chincoteague.  (Circa 1800.)  Unfortunately it closed shortly before we arrived. But LillyBear and I peeked in the windows anyway.  It is furnished in period items inside and looks very interesting.

Continuing back down Main Street, we made a quick stop into the carnival grounds, where the pony auctions are held each July.  LillyBear posed by the famous horse statue by the entrance:

On Friday we browsed through several used bookstores.  I have always loved books and now that I have children, am always on the lookout for Good Books to use for homeschooling.  ("Twaddle Free" books as Charlotte Mason called them!)

During the afternoon, as we drove onto Assateague, we were THRILLED to finally be able to see the wild ponies close up, instead of just way in the distance! 

That evening, we drove the Wildlife Loop on Assateague. It is about 3 miles long, and opens to cars as 3:00 p.m.  (It's only open to walkers and bike riders before that.)  We saw all kinds of birds, but not much else, at the time we drove through.

Saturday it was time to pack up and drive home to North Carolina.  I did wonder if anyone had noticed a crazy lady going around taking pictures of a stuffed bear everywhere! 

LillyBear wanted one last look at the causeway as we left Chincoteague:

Thus concluded a really good trip!  I think we all needed it.  If you're wondering, we were not there during the pony round up and penning week.  And since this blog post turned out so long, I did not go into any more details here.  But it is something that T. and I went to several years ago, and if there is any interest from anyone reading this, just let me know and I can post some pictures from it.

One thing we commented on to each other about a lot on our trip was just how amazing God is in how many many creatures He created!  And what beauty surrounds us, if only we stop to really look.  Thank you God!  :)