Today T. asked me to record her playing "How Firm a Foundation" on the piano. This is her fourth video in the "Lilly funeral music" series she is doing.
I had to fight back tears while recording this today. (Those tears that "pop up out of nowhere!") I think "How Firm a Foundation" was Lilly's very favorite song. My husband discovered this when she was first hospitalized, in September 2010. When I was holding Lilly and she was upset, I would hold her tight against me and hum this song and it almost always calmed her down.
On the night Lilly died, when the paramedics got through trying to revive her, they left me alone in the ambulance with her. I carefully redressed her, wrapped her in her blanket, and then held her and found myself rocking her and humming this song. This time it calmed ME down in a way. I knew she was with God and was happy to be there.
OK ... enough! I don't want to cry again. In the video, the plaque is entitled "The Reunion Heart" and we received it from Giuliana's family shortly after Lilly died. The words are so sweet:
The Reunion Heart
Since Heaven has become your home
I sometimes feel I'm so alone;
and though we now are far apart
you hold a big piece of my heart.
I never knew how much I'd grieve
when it was time for you to leave,
or just how much my heart would ache
from that one fragment you would take.
God lets this tender hole remain
reminding me we'll meet again,
and one day all the pain will cease
when He restores this missing piece.
He'll turn to joy my every tear
with thoughts of you I hold so dear,
and they'll become my special way
to treasure our Reunion Day.
Finally, here are the lyrics to the hymn "How Firm a Foundation":
How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
is laid for your faith in his excellent word!
What more can he say than to you he hath said,
to you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?
Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed,
for I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I'll strengthen and help thee, and cause thee to stand
upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.
When through deep waters I call thee to go,
the rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;
for I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
and sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,
my grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
the flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.
I think verse 2 is my favorite right now.