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The story of our precious little girl's 17 months of life with Trisomy 18 (July 4, 2010 - December 15, 2011) and of us, re-learning to live "after Lilly."
"I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made ...." Psalm 139:14

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Missing: grave flowers

Today we were able to briefly stop by Lilly's grave to check on it.  The last time we were there was July 4, her birthday, when I brought the flowers in the picture and clamped them onto the large gravestone between Lilly's grave and her aunt's and grandfather's.  Sadly today the flowers were gone. 

That's the second time the flowers have disappeared.  Do they blow away?  Are they taken?  I wish I knew.  But I was glad that her wreath and other things were still there.  They are all things that we pushed deep into the ground, so I guess that's why.

H. stood by Lilly's grave and said "Hi Lilly!  I love you!"  It was so sweet.  I stood there thinking about the missing flowers and what I might do next time to try and make the flowers last longer.  I also thought about grave flowers in general and their purpose, and that reminded me of a quote from Karen Andreola's book Pocketful of Pinecones which sums up what I was thinking perfectly:

"Flowers placed at gravestones are not for the benefit of those beyond the grave.  They are for those left behind." (pgs. 196-97)

We went with my mother-in-law to her church today.  We sang a line of "Jesus Loves Me" that I didn't remember:

Jesus loves the children dear,
Children far away or near,
They are safe when in his care,
Every day and everywhere.

I prayed a thank you to Jesus for taking perfect care of our Lilly right now.  I don't think I'll ever get tired of looking at my portrait of Lilly in the arms of Jesus.  :)

By the way, if you're interested in nature study, the book I quoted above, Pocketful of Pinecones, is an excellent read.  It is a teacher's guide but written as a mother's diary in the 1930s.  The author is well known for her writings and teachings about the Charlotte Mason method of education.   

Finally, if you know a way to really get grave flowers to stay in place, I'd love any tips you can offer!


  1. perhaps the lady at the florist would know how to keep flowers in place. i imagine clamping them instead of securing them into the ground would make them more vulnerable to blowing away.

    lilly is surrounded by beauty far beyond any grave flowers now so take comfort knowing that.

    peace and joy,

  2. The painting of your Lilly in the arms of her Savior is such a comforting idea. You have my tears of sympathy with her passing.
    It is such sadness to look at a grave but gladness (by your decorations) show faith in looking beyond it.
    Emma was remembering the sense of some lines (like the ones above) by a venerable poet It is good to know that Emma in "Pocketful of Pinecones" ministered to you at such a difficult time.
    There is a special park - a place near where I live in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, that is reserved for babies both born and unborn who have gone to be with Jesus. It is called "Garden of Life" in Intercourse, PA. The life-size sculpture in the garden is of Jesus holding a tiny baby with its mother looking on.
    Warm Regards,
    Karen A.

  3. Correction:
    The park is
    Karen A.

  4. I used to work in the monument business. We did not encourage people to use clamp-on flowers (saddles) as they can damage the memorial stone with scratches and eventually rust, as the metal parts are exposed to rain. The absolute best method is to use vases that are heavy like bronze or marble ones. They need to be glued if possible to the monument's base if there is room with a putty that dries like cement. This is the only way to keep flowers from easily blowing away. Styrofoam must be first stuffed in the vase, and flowers can be arranged in the vases. The flowers stay pretty for up to 6 months. They fade after that. If vases are not glued down, thieves will take them. Same with loose flowers, statues, etc. It's sad but true that people will rob flowers to put on their loved one's grave or to sell at a flea market! If the base of your headstone is not wide enough to have vases, you might see if a local monument company would fix some granite extensions, and glue the vases to those! Obviously, you can't go over the boundaries of your own grave to someone else's plots. Whatever you do needs to keep mowers at the cemetery in mind. They do not like a lot of loose items on the grave, as they have to mow and weedeat. That's another plus for vases. If you place other items on the stones, just remember that they will most likely be damaged or stolen. So you want to keep the precious things in a memorial garden at home! Hope this helps! --Dana in TN

    1. Thank you so much for that info. Dana! :)

  5. This might be helpful: