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The story of our precious little girl's 17 months of life with Trisomy 18 (July 4, 2010 - December 15, 2011) and of us, re-learning to live "after Lilly."
"I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made ...." Psalm 139:14

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Typical child mindset

I realized the other day that at 11 months old, Solomon has outgrown a bunch of the baby toys that I have out for him.  I've been so busy focusing on helping my other two children with some issues that it just hadn't crossed my mind that Solomon is capable of so much more than I was expecting of him.

Of course a lot of that is me trying to get out of the "physically and mentally delayed child" mindset (Lilly) and back to the "typical child" mindset.  It seems almost anything new Solomon does I am just in awe.  It's hard to explain how jumbled up my mind is in all this.

So the other day, I got out a book called Slow and Steady Get Me Ready: The How-to Book That Grows With Your Child by June R. Oberlander.  "260 Weekly Developmental Activities From Birth To Age 5."   I initially used this book with Solomon but then it just got forgotten for awhile.  I opened up the book to the section for close to Solomon's age, picked out an activity, and got it together for him in minutes.  He picked up on it immediately and continued playing it over and over.

 (This particular activity was simply that I cut a hole in the top of an empty oatmeal container, then gave him wooden spools and clothespins to drop through the hole.)

I will definitely be keeping up with new activities after this.  I mean, we do so much together and I talk to him about what we're doing.  But he enjoys learning activities and it is good for him.  Plus it even buys me a little time for a chore or two.  ;)

I used this book a little with Lilly to, for ideas.  But obviously, I used a delayed schedule.

One other activity idea e-book that I think is excellent is Finding Educational Activities in the Most Unexpected Places: 200+ activities for young children using common household objects by Angie Kauffman at .   This e-book is full of ideas for toddlers and preschoolers.  Simple, quick, and easy.  Sure you can get free ideas by doing online searches, but sometimes - when your time is already limited - it's nice to have that work done for you.  The e-book is currently only $2.99.  More info is here.

 I made a new friend not to long ago, that lost a little girl about 12 years ago.  Her daughter had Trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome) and lived 6 months.  We often talk about our angel girls and what their lives were like, what our lives were like before, after, etc.  I learned yesterday that she had many of the same fears when pregnant with her rainbow baby.  Talking with someone with a similar experience is so amazingly therapeutic.  It's nice knowing I'm not crazy!

Another thing we talked about yesterday was how people do morn differently.  But that is OK!  We all have similar feelings and yet there are differences.  For example, this morning I walked into the kitchen to start making breakfast.  The radio was tuned to WCPE - the Classical Station.  On Sunday mornings, there is a program called "Sing for Joy" of religious music that we listen to while making breakfast and eating.  (Or as the kids call it "Scream for Joy.")  The hymn "How Firm a Foundation" was on.  I immediately turned around and left the room, burst into tears, composed myself, and went back in when the song ended.  I had had a flash in my mind of sitting in the ambulance holding Lilly's body and singing this song to her after she died.  Why this made me cry this particular time I have no idea.  But it did.  And next time it probably won't.  What's that about?  I don't know.  But I know that being hit with sadness at unexpected times is normal. 

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." - 1 Thessalonians 5:11


  1. Love the recommendations you give I just finished Plan to be flexible and it was awesome! It is amazing how a song can bring up so much emotions. SO glad you have support from other mommies:)

    1. I'm so glad you found the book helpful too! And thankful that you also have support. It reminds me of God will never give us more than we can handle.