Lovin' coconut oil - just like his big sister Lilly

In the world of grieving, you never know what will set you off.  I'm often completely surprised!  But it's not always negative.  Recently, I was holding Solomon and got my spoonful of coconut oil to swish for oil pulling.  On a whim, I gave him some too. He made an interested face as he considered it.  Then he wanted more!  I carried Solomon to my husband and told him that he liked the coconut oil - just like Lilly did!  And suddenly I wanted to cry. 

Coconut oil was the only food that Lilly ate well by mouth.  I feed some to her almost every day because of all the health benefits and in an attempt to help her gain weight.

Lilly preferred to eat globs of coconut oil off my finger, rather than with a spoon (March 2011)

Now every night, after I get my spoonful of coconut oil, I feed Solomon several bites.  He happily eats them and then runs off with the spoon to really lick it down well. 

This past Friday we took a day trip.  When we came home we were greeted by a horrific scene.  East the escape artist dog was loose and a dead chicken was laying in front of our house.  My mind quickly imagined a total massacre of all our chickens.  It was dark so Frank, Tabby, and I took flashlights and searched the yard but couldn't find any more bodies.  There were 12 (living) chickens in the coop. Four more were missing. 

Tabby found the pile of dead chickens the next morning in the woods.  We were both heartbroken that Taffeta was among the dead.  (Taffeta was a Silkie Bantam that was a runt.  Because of her smallness and problems, she won our hearts.  Hunter said she had "Trisomy 18" like Lilly.  So she was a special little chicken.)  Glad I took this picture of Tabby with her last week:

Tabby with Taffeta, our "Trisomy 18" chicken

Also among the dead was my other favorite, Friendly, the buff.  She had been our first chicken to lay eggs.  Sigh.  You can see more pictures and read Tabby's farewell to the chickens in her blogpost here. 

Frank spent Saturday fixing the fence so that Lord willing, East will not be able to escape again.  Note that we had left her hooked on a cable inside the fence Friday.  But, she broke her collar and had escaped.  West was a good girl and did not follow her sister out of the fence. 

This spring we started with 26 chickens.  We now have a dozen.  Wow.  Obviously raising animals can be as risky as growing crops.

So I don't have to end on a down note, here is another picture I took a few minutes before I took the above one of Tabby and Taffeta.  Solomon was working hard, helping the rest of the family rake leaves:

I do love the changing of the seasons and thank God for them!

A little farm update

Tabby had me take this picture a few days ago.  She was one proud mama when her prized Silkie Bantam named Shiny began laying cute little eggs.

I'm sad to share that today Shiny was killed by East, the Great Pyrenees and goat protector.  To say Tabby was devastated is an understatement.  You can read her post here with all the details and lots of pictures that will even make you smile.  (If you do read her post, please leave her a comment.  It would mean so much to her!)

This is East. She's a beautiful dog sitting here looking all innocent.  But she and her sister West are seasoned chicken killers.  Their job is to protect the goats.  But if a chicken gets in their pen - that chicken is food to them.

Today East managed to escape the pen THREE times.  The first two times were before the chickens were out for the day.  Tabby found a hole in the fence and we fixed it.  We thought that was that.  But then in the middle of math today, she suddenly got a "mama's intuition" that something was wrong outside.  She went out and returned shortly crying.  East was lose again and had just eaten Shiny's head off.  (Like Tabby really needed to see that.  Thanks a lot East.)

So Tabby hooked East to a long cable and I buried Shiny by the other 2 Silkies that were recently killed.

I told Tabby that today I added two new things to my resume:  learned to fix a fence and buried my first chicken.  (She and Frank had done all the burying until today.)  Yep.  My life continues to become more different than I ever imagined it would be.  Here is Tabby during our fence fixin' time getting some supervision from Daisy the goat:

Hunter has been taking a big interest in helping with the animals more.  His favorite thing is to help collect chicken eggs:

He also fills up a watering can from the rain barrels and uses the water to fill the chicken waterers around the yard:

Finally, just an interesting aside, do you know what shape a goat's pupils are?  I didn't either until we started taking care of the L family's goats.  They are rectangular!  Check out these pictures of Christa and Daisy and look at their eyes:

The older I get, the more amazed I am at the creativity of God.

Why it takes forever to get anything done

Thanks to Tabby's crocheting skills and the generosity of several people, we sold enough Lilly-colored ruffle scarves last month to raise $50.00 for Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.  Yay!  We are so grateful.  I will send that donation in this week.  :)

Doesn't LillyBear look lovely in one of the scarves?  :)  Tabby makes these scarves to order in a wide variety of colors.  So if you are ever looking for a fun gift idea, just let us know!


This past Friday afternoon I was determined to conquer a big pile of papers and various stuff that I accumulated faster than the speed of light on a cabinet.  (I confess - I am a piler and I hate it!!  It's one habit I just can not seem to be rid of.)  I was standing there sorting stuff and feeling irritated at myself for letting the piles happen and irritated because it was taking forever to finish.  But I realized that's just how it is in this season of life and this is an example why:

Me - file one paper and throw another away

Hunter - "Mama! Can I have some pipe cleaners please?"

Me - get Hunter pipe cleaners.  Hole punch and file a paper.

Hunter - "Mama!  You got to come see this!  PLEASE!"

Me - go see Hunter's project.  Throw one paper away.

Door flies open and Tabby's hand shoots out holding an egg out to me.  "Mama - please put this in the fridge. I don't want to have to take my boots off to come in."

Me - put egg in carton in fridge.  Wash hands.  Take 2 papers to another room where they belong.

I pass by Solomon pushing a toy along the hallway.  Sniff sniff sniff.  "Solomon!  I think we better go change your diaper."
Diaper is changed.  I wash my hands again.
I pick up a paper.

Ring! Ring! Ring!  I go check the telephone caller ID.  No name shows up.  I don't answer.  Back to my papers.

Hunter - "Mama!  I need help!  Please!"

Me - help Hunter.  Go back to paper piles.  Throw one away.

Suddenly I get a groove going.  Five minutes later I realize that it's awfully quiet.   I sneak around the corner to peek at Solomon.  Sigh.

Solomon had gotten into Hunter's snack cabinet and spilled cheese crackers and ground some into the floor.

Me - clean up mess and move snacks into high cabinet.  Pick up Solomon and realize my time slot for wiping out that pile is up.

Thankfully I tend to be an optimist and hope for better results the next day.

But I guess if my house had no piles, that would mean there were no kids at home. 

So I think I'll keep my kids.  And the piles that go with them.  :)

Capture Your Grief - Days 28 - 31

Finally time to wrap up this series!

Day 28: Special Place.
Such as your child's place of rest.

Lilly is buried in Washington, N.C., a couple hours away from where we live.  She is buried next to my husband's youngest sister, who died at 15.  She is buried across from my husband's father, whom Lilly was blessed to see a bunch of times, including on her 1st birthday.  I have a little cherub statute on her grave, and an angel with chimes by it.  Plus we always keep something "Lilly colored" there.  Currently a red-white-and-blue wreath and pinwheel.  (I guess with the colors, unless someone was to read her gravestone, they might think her grave belonged to a soldier!)  I like checking up on her grave every time we have the opportunity.  Her burial there is playing in my mind now - it all seems so strange.  So unreal.  In December, we will take her red, white, and blue Christmas tree to her grave.

Day 29: Healing.
What has had the most healing impact on your life through this journey of grief?

 
Solomon.  My rainbow baby.  He filled my empty arms and turn my sorrow into joy.

Day 30: Growth.
Do you believe you have grown or are growing as a person since the loss of your precious baby?  Do you believe your baby had a higher purpose?

Absolutely and I am still growing.  I see so many people and situations completely differently.  I am more compassionate and have a special place in my heart for special needs children and adults. 
Did my baby have a higher purpose?  What kind of question is that?!  She radiated God's love and brought others - even strangers - closer to Him.

Day 31: Sunset.
To close out this project and month - photograph the sunset where you live.

 
This project began with a photo of the sunrise and now it ends with a sunset.  Unfortunately there was not much of a sunset this evening.  The sky was too cloudy.  Just like my thoughts and memories are at times.  But, I thank God that He has allowed the sun to shine through into my days more and more often.

The Haven Enterprises giveaway links

In a recent post, I mentioned the new business my good friend C and her husband have started called Haven Enterprises.    They have combined their talents to create beautiful heirloom quality things made of wood, with scripture on them.  Here are some samples of their beautiful work:
 

kitchen helper cutting board

spoon rest

scripture on doorpost - upper casing

cutting board

alpha and omega bookends

floating shelf

trivet

picture frame

 OK - that was more than I intended to post but it was so hard to choose which pictures to use!  :) 

To enter the giveaway for an upper door casing, go to the Reformation Acres blog here:
http://onjustacoupleacres.blogspot.com/2013/10/doorposts-giveaway-post.html
This giveaway runs through this coming Monday.

To enter the giveaway for a trivet, go to the Life Made Lovely blog here:
http://lifemadelovely-blog.com/2013/10/28/rustic-and-modern-gifts-a-double-giveaway-from-the-haven/
That giveaway runs through this Sunday.

Tomorrow is the last day of the month - we will be learning about and celebrating Reformation Day with activities during homeschool.  I still need to figure out a themed supper - I only know I'll make a "diet of worms" cake.  (And no that's not the kind of diet we think of here in the States!  It is a formal deliberate assembly.)  The kids will start by hammering up a copy of Martin Luther's 95 Theses on the door, just as he did on the door of the Castle Church of Wittenberg, Germany on October 31, 1517. 

Tomorrow will also be the last day of "Capture Your Grief" so I will post my last few days.  Tabby is glad it is coming to an end.  She said it has been depressing.  I say it has been healing.

Capture Your Grief - Days 25 - 27

Sadly I have to share that we have lost another rooster.  Yes that makes 4 chickens dead in about a week and a half.  :(  Lucia killed Roadrunner the rooster Friday night.  It was just as well though, because Frank was going to have to kill her because he attacked both Hunter and Solomon.  Sigh.  Now we have no roosters left to proudly walk around our little farm crowing.  I have really grown to love the sound of a rooster crowing!  To see pictures of this beautiful Silkie Bantum rooster click here to Tabby's blog.  Lord willing, this will be a better week for our chickens!

Day 25: Say It Out Loud.
If you could say anything out loud about your journey with grief with the death of your child, what would it be?

 
"Lilly - you are worth every tear."

Day 26: Community.
What does this community mean to you?

 
I have saved every note, card, and letter that we've received having anything to do with Lilly.  I have two huge boxes of just sympathy cards.  But among my most treasured cards, are the ones filling up this box.  These are cards from other Trisomy 18 families.

Day 27: Signs.
If you believe in life after death, do you believe your child has ways of contacting you?

No I don't really believe Lilly is able to contact me.  However, I have lots of fun saying she does.  When these flowers bloomed on her crepe myrtle tree, I said it was a "hello" from Lilly.  I also say that when the lily flowers in her memory garden bloom.  Or when butterflies are fluttering over her grave.  When her red-white-blue pinwheel spins and the light flashes on it - I say she's winking. 

Haven Enterprises

Incredibly, sadly we lost still another chicken today.  This time though it wasn't East and West's fault.  (The Great Pyrenees that live in the goat pen.)  It was our Lucia's fault.  (Sweet, frumpy lab/terrier mix.)  We keep Lucia on a long cable during the day when the chickens are out because of her tract record.  One of the Silkie Bantum roosters, Satin, has attacked Lucia a few times lately.  Today he apparently did it when Lucia was tangled up in something.  Tabby found the body when she ran out to get the mail.  You can read what Tabby wrote about Satin and see a picture of the pretty rooster on Tabby's blog here.  This has not been a good week and a half to be a chicken on our property.  :(

In happier news, my dear friend C and her husband have a new business called Haven Enterprises.  They work together to hand make beautiful wood items such as cutting boards, bookends, trivets, floating shelves, and door frames - all with scripture on them.  The wood comes from their Tennessee farm and the surrounding community.  Everything is high quality and made to last and even pass down as heirlooms.  Their website is up and running:  http://www.thehavenenterprises.com/  .  Check the beautiful photos C posts on their website.  She truly has a gift for photography - I even have several pictures she has taken of our family framed and displayed in my home.  :)   Back to their products, I can't decide which is my favorite.  But they all make me think of this passage:

⁴ “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.⁵ You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. ⁶ And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. ⁷ You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. ⁸ You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. ⁹ You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." -  Deuteronomy 6:4-9

The other day, we walked across our street to take pictures of these cows.  We love when they're in the front pasture and closer up to us.  Solomon and Hunter thought their mooing was hilarious!

Here's a recent picture of Solomon sitting in a rocking chair that was mine when I was a little girl: