Lilium Firecracker

The morning after Lilly passed away, we found a wrapped gift on our front porch. Inside was a wonderful, handmade present. My friend K.M. had painted a lily flower and behind it had written this scripture:

“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these." - Matthew 6:25-29

In little letters along the left side of the flower, K. wrote "Lilium Firecracker" - which was a tribute to our Lilly, aka "Little Firecracker." The gift made me cry happy tears at the beautiful job K. did and her kindness and thoughtfulness. If you came to Lilly's viewing, you probably saw this gift displayed up front with other framed pictures.

K., her husband, and four young children came to Lilly's viewing and funeral. We were able to have a good talk after the funeral. Then yesterday I got word that K. was found passed out and her husband took her to the hospital. She is a diabetic and has been having trouble with her blood pressure. The whole thing quickly turned into a life or death matter. Apparently her heart is not firing correctly. Last night they almost lost her. She had to be intubated and heavily sedated and put on a pace maker. (As I learned from when Lilly almost died on Mother's Day, if you're intubated you have to be sedated so you won't try to rip the thing out.) She seems somewhat stable at the moment, but not out of danger yet.

It was so upsetting and we are continuing to plead with God for K's life and healing. Interestingly though, through it, I have developed a much better sense of peace about Lilly's death. Lilly suffered a lot off and on throughout her short 17 month life. But she did not seem to suffer in death. On her last day, she had a great day at home with her family, enjoying her routine and smiles and kisses, and seems to have passed gently in her sleep. As much as I miss her, I am not selfish enough to want her back in this life where there is pain and suffering, especially when I think of how miserable she was in hospitals. I am so happy for her that she is completely free now of her limited earthly body. It has been extra hard the last two days as I have had to pack up some of Lilly's things, including the pallet she died on. But focusing on HER happiness, has made it bearable.

This morning, my daughter T. and I went to our local scrapbook store to get some pages for our Lilly scrapbooks. I wanted something special for the funeral pages. I told the store owner that Lilly had died and she offered her condolences. Then she began to recollect how she remembered us coming in with Lilly before, and how cute she was, and how she remembered Lilly's story. I was just beaming as this woman talked!

Something I have learned since Lilly died, is an answer to a question I used to wonder. I used to be afraid if I said very much - other than express my sympathies to the survivors of someone that died - that I would hurt them more. I was afraid that the more I talked about the deceased, the more pain I would cause the survivor. I have since learned that is NOT the case! I have found that I LOVE to talk about Lilly! And that when someone will not even acknowledge that she has died, that that is what hurts. I'm not sharing this so that everyone will run up to me and start talking about Lilly. I'm sharing this because it is something that I learned, and maybe it will help you to know how to better support someone that is grieving.

God puts it this way: "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." - Romans 12:15