I have been surprised at the number of angel moms that have shared that they have received negative comments about how they keep their angel children in their life. For example, criticisms in having a lot of pictures of the angel child in the home, mementos of the angel child, frequently talking about them, family celebrations of the angel child's birthday and death day, etc. Of course the people that are making those types of critical comments, which by the way hurt the moms dreadfully, think they are being helpful. (I suppose. Maybe they're just really uncomfortable.) They seem to think that if those moms will just put all those reminders away then they will heal and life will go back to "normal."
Well that won't ever happen. Those that have not lost children simply don't understand. We don't fault them for that. But I do hope to help my readers understand that they should never make negative comments to those of us that are doing our best to cope with loss. We all do so in our own way and express it differently.
We are now settled into our new home. (It feels funny saying that since the home is 102 years old!) I thought about the above as I decorated. I put "touches of Lilly" in almost every room. Even the coat closet has her little pink fleece jacket she wore during her last few months. Why did I do this? It helps us feel closer to Lilly. We see each other every day. We all like seeing Lilly around the house too. She is an important part of our family and always will be.
Now that I've shared that, LillyBear asked me to post pictures of her showing many of those "touches of Lilly" around our house. :) So here goes!
The outside of our Lilly Colored Farmhouse (it's actually red white and blue!):
For some reason, I've always thought it would be neat to have a church pew in our house. My mother-in-law gave us this wonderful red pew. Lilly's special quilt is on the back and her scale is underneath:
Near the pew, I have an old pie safe, also from my mother-in-law. On top are special boxes with cards from friends in the Trisomy world. I used one of the cherub statues at Lilly's viewing and funeral. Hanging on the wall are special Lilly pictures from another Trisomy angel mom and from CarlyMarie:
Here's LillyBear sliding down the banister by Lilly's bunting (it says "In Memory of Lilly):
Our living room has Lilly pictures, of her alone and with us. All the dried flowers are flowers we received when she died:
In the dining room, my special Lilly and Jesus picture is hanging over the piano. I need to get flowers for the red clear and blue bottle vases:
Bookshelf by the piano:
This fireplace is also in our dining room. We've got Lilly's memorial tree on the hearth, and her collage we made for her viewing and funeral on the wall over the mantel. Lilly's crazy sock monkey on one side, the angel doll Tabby made me on the other with the r-w-b candles. (Sock monkey needs something else by him but I haven't decided what yet):
In the kitchen, on the window sill is a jar of Lilly's therapy beans and the flag from her 1st birthday cake on the window:
Lilly's VitaMix is on the counter (I wrote her name one it!):
We have a hallway that is a bit wider than usual. We dubbed it the Lilly Hall. I want to paint the walls the vintage kind of green I like and maybe stencil lily of the valley flowers on a few places. We have Lilly's scripture picture up that my friend K drew for us right after Lilly passed away, and my bag of Lilly's folders and memorial project ideas underneath:
Finally, in our bedroom we have a Lilly corner. I have some Lilly memorabilia on my dresser and Lilly's dresses hanging on the wall. Hanging in the corner over them is a beautiful light that Lilly and I just loved. She loved to stare at it. We just had to bring it with us, even though it's not hooked up to electricity right now:
The pole that held Lilly's feeding pump is now where I hang my diaper bag, Lilly's insulated food bag, and Solomon's sweater:
My husband has Lilly's funeral program and some letters "from" Lilly hanging up:
Under my nightstand is a Lilly colored basket which has the last outfit Lilly ever wore (her sock monkey pjs) and the blankets that were on her bed the last time she ever slept in it. Unwashed of course:
Finally, here is Solomon and LillyBear in Lilly's old bed:
So what do you think - are we crazy people for having so many Lilly things up? No we're not. We're just a family that loves our Lilly and loves to talk about her and remember her.
And yes - I have pictures up of all my other children too. :)