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The story of our precious little girl's 17 months of life with Trisomy 18 (July 4, 2010 - December 15, 2011) and of us, re-learning to live "after Lilly."
"I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made ...." Psalm 139:14

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Capture Your Grief - Days 12 - 17

Several days to catch up on! 

Day 12: Article.
Day 13: Book.

These two days are about any book or article that has really helped on my journey of grief.  To be honest - I have quite a collection of books on grief, all kindly given to me, that I have never been able to read.  At least not yet.  There's one in particular I pick up now and then, but it makes me cry and I just don't feel like crying through a book so I put it back on my shelf for later. 

There is one beautiful picture book that I love called Mommy Please Don't Cry: There Are No Tears in Heaven.  I blogged about it here

Day 14: Family.
What does your family look like now?

Frank, me, Tabby, Hunter, and Solomon.  And Lilly.  I tell people that I have 3 children at home and one in heaven.  I get very upset if anyone in my family leaves Lilly out in telling how many people we have in our family.

Day 15: Wave Of Light.
October 15 was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Light a candle at 7pm to help create a continuous wave of light around the world for 24 hours.

Day 16: Seasons.
Share what certain seasons or holidays mean to you now.

Lilly at the pumpkin patch - October 2011
We feel so blessed to have had Lilly with us for 17 months.  That meant she got to celebrate every holiday with us, some more than twice.  I already blogged about the significance of the 4th of July and Christmas to me for Day 11 - emotional triggers  (Click here to read it.)  so I won't repeat it here.  But I do think of Lilly and things we did with her all year round.  

Day 17: Time.
How long has it been since your child died?

I didn't realize, until I posted this picture, that it was blurry.  But it really is better that way because time seem all blurry - all jumbled up - since Lilly died.  She died exactly 673 days ago from today.  It seems like FOREVER ago.  And yet it hasn't even been two whole years.  It is very confusing.


  1. Love that photo of Lily at the pumpkin patch, so sweet!

  2. I do understand the blurry feeling. My whole 2011 year is blurry.

    I do want to mention that I don't mean to ignore Lilly or Wendi. But when someone casually asks me about how many siblings I have I have found that they are usually at a loss and uncomfortable if I mention that I have a sister who is deceased. It all just depends on who I am talking to and how well I know them and if I think they REALLY want to know or if its idle conversation and they really couldn't care less. It is not only easier on them, but also easier on me.
    Hugs. I love you.

  3. I do understand! There have been a couple of times where I didn't bother either. But I am not as nice as you - I usually don't care if it makes the other person uncomfortable. :P But that makes ME feel better. Just like you not saying anything at times makes it easier on YOU. Even though this whole journey is a common one (grief) - we all have our own ways of handling it! And that is OK.