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The story of our precious little girl's 17 months of life with Trisomy 18 (July 4, 2010 - December 15, 2011) and of us, re-learning to live "after Lilly."
"I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made ...." Psalm 139:14

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

A Review: The Viewing, Funeral, and Burial

I've been putting this blog post off. I just don't feel like revisiting these two days. But I do want to have the information here, for our family record.

On Sunday, December 18, Lilly's viewing was held at the Thomas Funeral Home in Fuquay-Varina, North Carolina from 3:00 - 5:30 p.m. We were amazed at the number of people that came and we thank each and every one of you that did. It was so wonderful to be able to talk briefly to most everyone as they came through in the line. One woman shared that she had had a child with Trisomy 18. That child lived 2 hours. One of my best friends and her husband drove for 10 hours to come to the viewing. That meant the world to me. Then we had the special blessing of meeting another Trisomy 18 family. This family drove all the way from South Carolina to be there. It did my heart so much good to see their Lily, who was so cute and active. You can read about this little girl we call "The Other Lily" on her blog.

Here is our beautiful Lilly at the viewing. Her faithful stuffed caterpillar Hank watched over her. We put him in the coffin with her at the end of the viewing.


I thought we needed the mood to be lifted a little at the viewing, so I pulled off one of Lilly's shoes and socks. "Sneaky Lilly" one more time! (I put them back on before the coffin was closed up.)



The next day, Monday, Lilly's funeral was held at 10:00 at Peace Presbyterian Church in Cary, North Carolina. (We don't attend this church but our church used to meet in the afternoons in their building.) Both my husband and G.L., our pastor, spoke. My brother P.H. and a man that leads singing at our church, J.M., lead the songs.


We sang: "As the Hart About to Falter" (and no "hart" is not misspelled - it is a very old word for "deer"), "How Firm a Foundation," "My Jesus I Love Thee," "Amazing Grace," "The Lily of the Valley," and the "Doxology."


We were told by a number of people that came that the service was very uplifting. We were so glad to hear that!.


You can listen to a recording of the service here.


This picture is at the church:


After greeting and thanking the many people that came to the funeral, we drove to Washington, North Carolina for the burial. Lilly was buried at Oakdale Cemetery. She was in a family section, right next to my husband's youngest sister (who died in a car wreck many years ago) and across from my husband's father (who died this summer).

At the burial service we had prayers and I shared about Lilly. (What I said is here.) Then we sang "Jesus Loves Lilly." ("Jesus Loves Me" but with a few word changes.) I thought it was a wonderful service. Here are a couple pictures:









I am really feeling a sharper sting of missing Lilly right now. What a blessing she was to our family! A blessing beyond words.


"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." - Psalm 34:18

5 comments:

  1. She looked like a Porcelain Doll in a beautiful dress and bed. Your mom put it so well when she said, "She looked like a baby doll you would see in a store and want to take home." She is home.
    And she was beautiful!

    Shisshy

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  2. lisa, i'm so glad the service was taped. i just relistened to it and was so uplifted. so thankful lilly was placed in the perfect family God ordained just for her. indeed she was and is a blessing to our lives. i miss her too. thinking of who she will be meeting today in heaven....
    love,
    mom

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  3. Lily is sure a beautiful, spirt filled little girl. She will be missed much.

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  4. I know this post was made 12 years ago, but I want you to read this. I'm a 16 year old teenager and an older brother. I have recently lost my younger sister. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must have been for you to write this post, I know how it feels for you since I have recently experienced something similar myself, but I want to thank you for sharing your experience with the world. It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable and open up about something as painful as the loss of a child.

    I'm still trying to cope with my own loss, and it's not easy. Some days are better than others, but it's always hard to deal with the fact that my sister is gone. I miss her every day, and it feels like a part of me is missing.

    I want to encourage you to keep taking care of yourself and your family during this difficult time. It's okay to feel sad, and it's okay to take time to grieve. But I also want to remind you that it's okay to find ways to cope and move forward, even when it feels like it's impossible.

    I've found that finding ways to remember my sister and keep her memory alive has helped me to cope with my grief. I've started a scrapbook with pictures and memories of her, and I make sure to tell stories about her whenever I can. It's a way for me to keep her memory alive and to honor her memory.

    I hope that you find ways to cope with your loss, and that you find support from your loved ones and your community. Remember that you're not alone in your grief, and that there are people who care about you and want to support you.

    Thank you again for sharing your story. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your comment. It's so well written, understanding, and comforting. I am SO SORRY you lost your sister. I love that you've made a scrapbook of her. Those things are so important. As you know by now, grieving is a rollercoaster. There are good days and bad days. My thoughts are with you. Thanks again for taking the time to write.
      - Lisa

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